{"id":120,"date":"2011-05-22T09:00:15","date_gmt":"2011-05-22T16:00:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.handthingsdown.com\/blog\/living-without-a-dad\/"},"modified":"2011-05-25T00:32:08","modified_gmt":"2011-05-25T07:32:08","slug":"living-without-a-dad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/handthingsdown.cachecrew.com\/blog\/living-without-a-dad\/","title":{"rendered":"Living Without A Dad"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"float:right;padding: 0 0 10px 10px\" class=\"interactive_right\"><div class='button_holder_right'><iframe allowtransparency='true' frameborder='0' scrolling='no' src='\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets\/tweet_button.html?url=https%3A%2F%2Fhandthingsdown.cachecrew.com%2Fblog%2Fliving-without-a-dad%2F&amp;text=Living Without A Dad&amp;count=vertical&amp;lang=&amp;via=handthingsdown' style='width:65px; height:65px;' ><\/iframe><\/div><div class='button_holder_right'><iframe src='\/\/www.facebook.com\/plugins\/like.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fhandthingsdown.cachecrew.com%2Fblog%2Fliving-without-a-dad%2F&amp;layout=box_count&amp;show_faces=false&amp;width=65&amp;action=like&amp;font=arial&amp;colorscheme=light&amp;height=65' scrolling='no' frameborder='0' style='border:none; overflow:hidden; width:65px; height:65px;' allowTransparency='true'><\/iframe><\/div><\/div><p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full alignleft\" style=\"margin-left: 6px; margin-right: 6px;\" title=\"Living without a Dad\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.handthingsdown.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/05\/20110522-125349.jpg?resize=350%2C233\" alt=\"Single parents\" width=\"350\" height=\"233\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><br \/>\nI watched The Real World with Jellie during our weekly bonding session (don&#8217;t judge, it reminds me how lucky I am to have such a good kid). Its our ritual to bond while watching a reality show and since controversial topics usually pop-up, it&#8217;s a way to talk to her about difficult subjects. I mean I can&#8217;t just plop myself into her room and randomly bring up alcohol, teen pregnancy, etc.<\/p>\n<p>On the episode we watched, one of the girls hired a private detective to search for her dad. So during the commercial, I turn to her and ask, &#8220;Do you ever think of your dad?&#8221; In typical teen fashion, she said, &#8220;No.&#8221; Of course I had to probe, then she replied with, &#8220;You can&#8217;t miss something you never had.&#8221; Then I asked, when you&#8217;re older, would you hire a private investigator to look for him? Jellie said, &#8220;No, if he was worth knowing, he would have stepped up and stuck around.&#8221; I don&#8217;t know if this is incredibly mature of her or if she&#8217;s suppressing any feelings of abandonment.<\/p>\n<p>As a single mom, I worry my kids are deprived of normal family life because their dad is absent. I haven&#8217;t introduced them to anyone because it&#8217;s been a long time since I&#8217;ve been in a serious relationship.<\/p>\n<p>Jellie never met her dad. She was spared disappointment if he missed a birthday or any other holidays, since she never expected it. As one of the first grandkids in my family, she&#8217;s been showered with love from my parents, my sisters, my cousins, and me. We also shower her with advice and guidance, sometimes it&#8217;s welcome and since she&#8217;s a teen sometimes unwelcome. I feel terrible she got the mom and not a dad too. I&#8217;m amazed at how mature and well-adjusted she appears to be, yet I worry it&#8217;s a fa\u00c3\u00a7ade. How do you know if your child is really ok?<\/p>\n<p>Any thoughts on how to raise confident, independent teens or how to deal as a single parent?<\/p>\n<p>Image credit:<br \/>\nhttp:\/\/m.flickr.com\/#\/photos\/mskeet\/4954299160\/<\/p>\n<div class='shareinpost'><ul class=\"socialwrap row\"><li class=\"iconOnly share\">Share:<\/li><li class=\"iconOnly\"><a  rel='nofollow'  target='_blank'  title='Share this post : Living Without A Dad on Facebook'  href='http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fhandthingsdown.cachecrew.com%2Fblog%2Fliving-without-a-dad%2F&amp;t=Living+Without+A+Dad'  ><img  src='https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/handthingsdown.cachecrew.com\/blog\/wp-content\/plugins\/share-and-follow\/images\/blank.gif?resize=24%2C24&#038;ssl=1'  height='24' width='24'  class='image-24' alt='facebook'  style='background: transparent url(https:\/\/handthingsdown.cachecrew.com\/blog\/wp-content\/plugins\/share-and-follow\/default\/24\/sprite-feb-24.png) no-repeat;padding:0;margin:0;height:24px;width:24px;background-position:-300px 0px'   data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/> <span class=\"head\">Share on Facebook<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"iconOnly\"><a  rel='nofollow'  target='_blank'  title='Tweet this post : Living Without A Dad on Twitter'  href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/share?url=http%3A%2F%2Fbit.ly%2Fj3gPfU&amp;text=Living+Without+A+Dad+-+ via+%40handthingsdown\"  ><img  src='https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/handthingsdown.cachecrew.com\/blog\/wp-content\/plugins\/share-and-follow\/images\/blank.gif?resize=24%2C24&#038;ssl=1'  height='24' width='24'  class='image-24' alt='twitter'  style='background: transparent url(https:\/\/handthingsdown.cachecrew.com\/blog\/wp-content\/plugins\/share-and-follow\/default\/24\/sprite-feb-24.png) no-repeat;padding:0;margin:0;height:24px;width:24px;background-position:-1625px 0px'   data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/> <span class=\"head\">Tweet about it<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"iconOnly\"><a  rel='nofollow'  target='_self'  title='Print this post : Living Without A Dad for reading later'  href='javascript:window.print();'  ><img  src='https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/handthingsdown.cachecrew.com\/blog\/wp-content\/plugins\/share-and-follow\/images\/blank.gif?resize=24%2C24&#038;ssl=1'  height='24' width='24'  class='image-24' alt='print'  style='background: transparent url(https:\/\/handthingsdown.cachecrew.com\/blog\/wp-content\/plugins\/share-and-follow\/default\/24\/sprite-feb-24.png) no-repeat;padding:0;margin:0;height:24px;width:24px;background-position:-1300px 0px'   data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/> <span class=\"head\">Print for later<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"iconOnly\"><a rel=\"_self\" href=\"mailto:?subject=Hand%20Things%20Down\u2122%20:%20Living%20Without%20A%20Dad&amp;body=Sharing%20tips%20from%20Hand%20Things%20Down%20%20https:\/\/handthingsdown.cachecrew.com\/blog\/living-without-a-dad\/\" title=\"Tell a friend about this post : Living Without A Dad \"><img src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/handthingsdown.cachecrew.com\/blog\/wp-content\/plugins\/share-and-follow\/images\/blank.gif?resize=24%2C24&#038;ssl=1\" height=\"24\"  width=\"24\" style=\"background: transparent url(https:\/\/handthingsdown.cachecrew.com\/blog\/wp-content\/plugins\/share-and-follow\/default\/24\/sprite-feb-24.png) no-repeat;padding:0;margin:0;height:24px;width:24px;background-position:-275px 0px\" class=\"image-24\"  alt=\"email\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/> <span class=\"head\">Tell a friend<\/span><\/a><\/li><\/ul><div class=\"clean\"><\/div> <\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I watched The Real World with Jellie during our weekly bonding session (don&#8217;t judge, it reminds me how lucky I am to have such a good kid). Its our ritual to bond while watching a reality show and since controversial topics usually pop-up, it&#8217;s a way to talk to her about difficult subjects. I mean &hellip; <\/p>\n<p><a class=\"more-link btn\" href=\"https:\/\/handthingsdown.cachecrew.com\/blog\/living-without-a-dad\/\">Continue reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":[]},"categories":[36],"tags":[88,87,85,86,89],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Being a Single Mom<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Watching reality TV with my kids has been 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